art by Shawn Hocking
When we were touched by Grace, willing to relinquish freewill to Divine will, our whole life is transformed. The rest is just manifestation of divine will within time. When we dropped the ideas of defense, together with the idea of you and me, walking into the Dharma door with blind faith and aspiration, we took on the collective karma, being burdened by it, like being gnawed by millions of worms, became wounded, infected, having the wounds festered within and eventually transformed into pure light. This isn’t conceptual. People who are gifted with clairvoyant, not necessarily enlightened can actually see that we took on loads of bags of trash of others that were not initially ours to carry. After we walked through, look back with new light, we see that the whole process is like taking a vaccine. What burdened us, infected us eventually lifted us, upgraded us. We become immune to what we are capable to transform, and we aren’t zombielike. On the country, we become more alive.
We have felt so wounded up, paralyzed at times. We may feel disengaged from the world. Actually we are, because we are experiencing a different time frame. Externally, our environment and surroundings may remind us that we are living in the now, together with those around us; internally, we are travelling at the speed of light, going through life times within weeks. And the life and death cycle become shorter and shorter to us. We die daily, and we die momentarily.
My respected teacher, dear friend and darling brother Jerry once said, “All is good along Eternities Highways when one learns not to be entangled nor overly disturbed by the experience and attractions along the way. ”
This is not just an advice, it is actually a strict security warning for those are traveling on this high road. Just imagine when we drive on the high way, no matter in the driver’s seat or passage’s seat, trying to grab anything on the way would cause disastrous consequence. Here, “letting go” is not a philosophical approach we could choose to adapt, it is not optional. We have already stepped on the path of no return. We may look ordinary people doing all sorts of bad things and get away with them. But we simply cannot. A stray thought or action from us would reward instant karma. We may sometimes admire them and sigh, ignorance is indeed bliss, and saying this isn’t sarcastic. We certainly don’t have that luxury of time they have as all our life times have been blended together for us to sort out in this single life. This would not have happened if we hadn’t asked for it. After a series falling upon the traps set by our own hands, we eventually have to make that decision to say farewell to the so called “free will”.
We may also find that we could hardly grab opportunities offered by the world; and we may feel frustrated that it seems that we are left out from the favor of the world. In fact, it’s the opportunities of the world could not keep up with our speed of change and transformation.
Once we disentangled from the attachment that we have to do something, to be somebody to prove our existence, clarity returns, then we notice that we aren’t travelling alone. There are souls travelling before us, showing us the way, and there are many travelling with us together on this high way, then we are relieved, knowing that we aren’t entirely out of mind.
Here I want to borrow one poem of Hafiz – I once asked a bird, “How is it that you fly in this gravity of darkness?” She responded, “Love lifts me.”